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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Kitchen_Milk_2880 on 2023-08-03 17:12:31.

I’ll keep this short, we have three kids and when they turn 12 I start making one of their chores about finding something to do. For example, make your bed, dishes away, and find a chore. So the kid will look around the house and find a chore it can be anything.

Really did this to teach them to see if something is dirty or needs fix and they can go and do it without needed instruction. Sometimes the kid pick something small like vacuum a rug, other times they pick something not realizing how big the task is, reorganizing the game room for example. Anyways it teaches them to figure out what needs done and then do it.

Overall my oldest kid took her only a little bit to do this. My son just turned 12 and he is struggling, I’m trying to get him to understand. He got so frustrated today that he couldn’t see what needed to be done in the house that he locked himself in his room. Tried to have him write a list of what he though could be cleaned in the living room (did not work)

My husband is pissed that I am giving them “mental load” chores and called me an ass. We had an argument and really I am just trying to help their problem-solving skills

Edit

Omg, just because he is indecisive doesn’t make him have ADHD or anything, stop with blanket statements. Also yes we had him tested. Some people are just more cautious, yes indecisiveness is a symptom but he has basically no others and was tested.

Some people are just indecisive, could be for thousands of reason like lack of confidence, wanting to have things perfect and so on. Not everything is ADHD