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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/fablefair89 on 2023-08-01 07:14:48.


I (29F) have a niece (5F) who is my SIL’s (24F) daughter. In the beginning of this year, her boyfriend left her and she has been a single mom since. She is going through a hard time right now trying to balance raising her daughter while working a minimum wage job.

Because of this, I offered to babysit my niece on most weekday evenings so her mom can work extra shifts and not worry about paying for a sitter.This arrangement has been going really smoothly for the last two months. My niece is an absolute angel and we have gotten so incredibly close. I’ve noticed whenever we’ve been over to my SIL’s that her fridge is severely lacking in fresh foods. I totally understand how expensive grocery shopping can be and how much of a privilege it is to buy fresh food each week. Therefore, I don’t blame her one bit. When I first started babysitting my niece, my SIL instructed her favorite foods were “frozen chicken nuggets and fries” and she insisted that she’d be happy if I fed her that every meal.

Personally, I’m super big into cooking. I’m also very into nutrition and making sure meals are well-balanced. So I couldn’t bear to just feed my niece chicken nuggets and fries at every meal knowing how unhealthy the two are long term. I began to introduce her to more vegetables and meats/seafood to make sure she was getting adequate nutrition. Recently, I’ve made her pan-seared salmon, steamed chilean sea bass, ma po tofu, peking duck, lemon asparagus, braised bok choy to name a few. And the thing is, she absolutely LOVES every single dish! I also blend her a fresh fruit and vegetable smoothie every evening as a little dessert. My niece has turned into a huge foodie and will try anything I cook. She’s even taken an interest in helping cook alongside me.

I didn’t see anything wrong with what I was doing until three days ago my SIL called me to confront me. She basically told me to stop feeding her all this “fancy rich people shit” and accused me of trying to turn her daughter against her. Apparently, at home, my niece now refuses to eat chicken nuggets and requests to eat a bunch of foods I make. But, a month ago, I ordered a bunch of fresh groceries to their home because I knew my niece had taken a liking to my food. However, a few days later, I asked my niece if her and her mom had cooked anything and she said “no” and that her mom had thrown most of it out. I was appalled, but chose not to confront my SIL. It made me livid to have her bash me for caring for her daughter’s well-being and nutrition. I told her as such and called her ungrateful for throwing out my groceries and that she should be thankful her daughter is eating well. That did not end well and I heard her start crying on the other end before just hanging up on me.

I do feel for her (and I told her as such), but our top priority should always be her daughter’s well-being, which I feel like she’s putting aside by asking me to stop feeding her. Am I not seeing something here? AITA?