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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ForeverNext9357 on 2023-07-30 21:10:58.

(English is not my first language etc)

A little backstory: we came from an extremely sexist family.

For example, my brother got a car, 75% of our parents’ estate (a big farm, lands, and all the machinery for it) and they paid for his college.

My oldest sister had to take out loans, so she can finish her education.

I never went to college because of my undiagnosed ADHD (now I’m in therapy and start to become okay-ish) but I have money because of sheer dumb luck.

My younger sister (22F) started college two years ago. My parents offered to pay to rent a room after she didn’t get a scholarship and a room in the dorms.

I offered her to pay her scholarship and some extra for groceries, stating that I put aside “college fund” for all girls in our family (my two daughters, my sister, a younger cousin, and a niece).

This is just one account, and in my will, it stated it has to be divided between these girls (my lil sister is the oldest, and everybody else is between 6-12) for college expenses, and the ones who already finished college by the time I died, gets nothing from that account. (if I have more nieces, I’ll add them too)

Now to the problem:

My sister decided to drop out, get pregnant and marry (planned) with her boyfriend/fiancè of six months.

I try not to be disappointed (I am, but I shut the F up IRL about it).

Today was the big announcement (I knew it beforehand, so I could act all happy) and after the lunch, she pulled me aside and asked to the “leftover of her college fund”. I explained to her, that there is no “her fund” (I already did this when she started college) and I’ll be happy to pay for her tuition if she goes back someday, but she has to give me proof that she does to college (she pocketed the last semester’s payment because she failed to inform me about her dropping out, and I sent her the money)

She freaked out because she counted on that money for a downpayment for a three-bedroom apartment (co-owning with fiancè), but I stood firm on my decision.

She accused me of trying to control her with my money, and punishing her because she choose a different path in life (being a SAHM, and not having a career)

Our mom pointed out that it wasn’t really “feminist of me” to not support her in this.