cross-posted from: https://wolfballs.com/post/26482
I saw this was a controversy posted elsewhere, it's a niche issue
Also I know someone IRL like this that prefers to date / court only virgins
So a couple things with this, women who are not virgins are not supposed to wear white at weddings when they get married I think - white is supposed to symbolize purity. So nonvirgins either violate this rule if they wear white or if they didn't wear white it's almost like publicly shaming yourself so I imagine some men just want to avoid this issue.
The other thing that comes to mind is statistically the less virgin a woman is, the more likely they are to divorce or not be as committed to a relationship
But then some "born again virgins" so to speak, women who may not be virgins, feel "discriminated against" and like anyone should forgive them and still date them equally. There is something to be said about this.
But overall I don't think this is a controversy as much, because I think most people seek out people like them. So virgins tend to date / court virgins, less virgins seek those who are less of virgins. I think it may be a culture and way of life and personality and whatever else of like that attracts like. Virgins may be thought to be "boring" by some non-virgins who aren't as attracted to them in the first place, and non-virgins may be thought to be "too loose in morals" by virgins. A nonvirgin who repents of sins of fornication is going to tend to find nonvirgins who have also repented.
So I think the conflict and controversy is probably avoided a lot of times. But of course if a person is truly sorry and changed, they could be treated as such. But I also think this may be another rare niche and is probably avoided a lot of times as well.
So do you think this is a mostly non-controversy, or have you seen it pop up, or what do you think of it?
Monarque@wolfballs.com 1 year ago
If you are also a virign, wanting to exclusively date a virgin is not hypocritical and acceptable. Potential exceptions to this exist for the rare cases of "I am a widow or I divorced my wife on the few legitimate grounds for divorce and thus am not a virgin but have only had sex in wedlock..."
But even then, the nature of Christianity is one of forgiveness. If a woman has turned her back on the lifestyle and is proving she is committed to working it out, yuo should forgive her. Of course, you are not obligated to take this upon yourself, but you should.
squashkin@wolfballs.com 1 year ago
If people feel it's God's Will, I suppose that's another thing to keep in mind. A virgin might take a nonvirgin as a penance for sin. Or simply because they love them and there isn't an obstacle to marrying.
True, about widows or legit divorces (or declarations of annulment), I guess those would be special cases not really considered in the same way as willful fornicators.
but again I wonder how much this exists in reality, I think a lot of times like seeks like and nonvirgins will generally seek nonvirgins like them and so on.
Monarque@wolfballs.com 1 year ago
Yeah, I think most men realize their hypocrisy and do not try to pursue it so blindly... Besides, if they have been getting led around by their D before, it's likely going to play out that way again.