It sounds like you might have some unresolved issues from childhood. Your family didn’t respect your autonomy so now you’re maybe hyper vigilant about getting controlled by others?

Not being able to compromise even on small things like where to eat seems like it could become an issue. Do you really care about every little detail like that or are you just in constant defense mode?

There’s a lot of nice people out there you could safely compromise with on smaller things for mutual benefits, so it can be worthwhile to work on.

Being aware of It and examining it like you are now is a good first step.

Perhaps you could try to compromise on something tiny, with someone who hasn’t abused you, and see how it feels?