Canadian Geese are how I got this experience, I used to live in a town that they regularly migrated through and got into two scraps with them in my youth. They’re one of the few birds that I have zero sympathy fucking up, because both times they tried to attack me, I was just trying to quickly get through their territory with my lunch.

If you’re ever attacked by one, aim for center mass and give it as much force as you can. I’ve never had geese swarm me after seeing one of their comrades get obliterated.