Yep, missing people who hurt you sucks. I have had that experience, it sucked a lot and took years to get through, but now I don’t miss them at all. Honestly losing them was a great thing for me in the long run and it was a good opportunity to learn who I was and what I could do. I left at 17, never finished high school, but went on to have a great relationship with my now spouse, we worked together to raise her younger brothers from 12 through to 18, we have a cat who is an asshole that I love dearly, and we have moved more than a thousand kms away from my toxic trash family. I am happy now, you can be happy, this is just a shitty, bumpy start and it will be confusing, but the emotional systems you have will recalibrate and you will not miss them the same way you do now. Honestly I just regret for them that they couldn’t see how silly they were being and how much they hurt myself and my siblings.