I always bring up the ethical non monogamy because it’s the most objectively insane thing. It’s so obviously toxic and unfair.
Seems to me you’ve only found bad examples of ENM. For me, a relationship is about honesty, communication and wanting the same thing (except BDSM). If people are lying to each other or don’t really want the same thing then it’s not really a good relationship and should end. That’s most relationships really but that’s human nature for you.
The few ENM couples i know have near perfect relationships because they’re pretty clear with each other on want they want, and they want the same thing.
I get that women get a free pass for a lot of bullshit they do because they’re women and how dare you, you’re sexist and See? it’s the patriarchy but i’d wager most toxic behavior is 50/50. Humans are assholes regardless of gender.
meowMix2525@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Look, I’m not agreeing or disagreeing with you. I recognize that I do not have all the answers and I think it’s both damaging and a waste of time to bicker about who or what is and isn’t “sexist”.
All I’m saying is that liberalism and the left are not the same thing or even really all that amenable to each other, and identity politics are largely a distraction from more important issues. There’s a whole Wikipedia article that sums up various criticisms of it from a few different perspectives.
You are right, liberals are wrong about a lot of things and easily fall for ploys which only serve to divide us from each other. Choosing not to associate with liberals or to have more nuanced opinions in the face of their bickering does not mean that you have to be conservative or that conservatism is the only other thing left on the table. It’s a false dichotomy.
hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I get where you’re coming from, but I think you misread my original post. I said more conservative.
Pretend the temperature is 0 degrees outside. The next week, it is thirty degrees warmer. Someone would be 100 percent correct in saying that it’s much warmer today than yesterday. However it would still be objectively cold.
That is what I am saying. I’m not conservative, but I am more conservative. I don’t see myself belonging to either group.
I also live in a liberal area of the country. I don’t really have to worry about running into someone who says homosexuality is a sin or a woman who isn’t white and pure on her wedding day is a whore. On the other hand I do run into women blatantly hate men or will leverage tolerance rhetoric to gaslight and cheat on their partners.
meowMix2525@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Right, and what I’m saying is that disagreeing with liberals does not make you more conservative. You can be further left than liberals, or even aligned with them, and choose not partake in identity politics at all or only do so from a broader context. For example, you may instead advocate to fix the things that those identity politics and division are often a symptom of.
Per delduthling - It’s very possible to be a fully fledged socialist demanding structural economic change who also recognizes that oppression on the basis of race, gender, and sexuality are intertwined with capitalist power structures. The project of “woke capitalism” can never make good on its promises of liberation.
I found this to be a pretty thoughtful article on the topic, Meet the Anti-Woke Left
But I relent. Perhaps you mean more conservative on a personal or sexual level that you wouldn’t try to enforce on others. A level entirely separate from your politics. That kind of self determination would still be an ideal of the left though imo; you have the right to choose your own lifestyle as long as it doesn’t cause harm to others.
hesusingthespiritbomb@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What you’re saying makes sense in theory, but I don’t think it makes sense in practice. The word that has defined politics since the mid 2010s is intersectionalism. There simply isn’t any sort of genuine political lane for, say, a socialist who hates #girlboss culture. I’ve actually watched the video you sent me and while I appreciate it, the opinion is rather niche. There isn’t really a corresponding political faction or identity to really latch on to.
I also personally haven’t experienced this lack of intersectionalism when I “touched grass”. In general there is such a tight coupling of all things political to the point where you can do things like guess someone’s opinion on the middle east by how they feel about bat roosts in suburban areas. To be fair, that has faded significantly since immediately post covid. However, it’s still strongly present. There simply aren’t people I meet in real life who espouse those kind of unique political values.
At the end of the day, I’m sort of in a rut. I can avoid certain people who behave in what I define as a toxic manner, but I can’t really avoid all of this toxicity in the context of modern society. Identity politics coding is everywhere, and on some level I need to “pick a side”.