Comment on It's important
x00za@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks agot the end of the day, all human relations rely on a cost/benefit analysis. If I’m losing more than I’m gaining from this relationship, why should I continue it?
I would drop a person that thinks like this in an instant.
I also don’t think you’re doing that person any favors by ignoring their bad behavior.
Nobody said anything about ignoring. People can help people, yet lately they only think of themselves.
zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Would you really maintain a relationship with somebody who made you unhappy? Somebody who abused you? Somebody who didn’t respect you? And if so, why?
Why “lately”?
It’s not only thinking of yourself. It’s thinking about yourself and the people who aren’t fucking you up. If somebody has a history of toxic behavior, then you have to take that into account. If you let that affect you, you’re A) harming yourself and B) are less able to help the people who actually do love you and respect you.
x00za@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Ah, so you’re including abuse. Well abuse is a no go ofcourse. All the rest is just something you’ll have to live with and first reflect upon yourself. If somebody suddenly respects you less, maybe you’re not being respectful either. Regarding the unhappy argument. I find that extremely selfish. My friends are not MEANT to make me happy. They are meant to be there when I’m unhappy. Sometimes they’ll have to “make me unhappy” to make me realize my mistakes. That’s what friendship is all about. If somebody drops you for being at your worst, they are worse.
zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Abuse doesn’t have to be physical, though. It can also be emotional.
I’m not saying to drop your friends and family at the first signs of negativity. There are people, though, who are not good for you, and nothing you can do can change that. The sooner you figure out who those people are and get them out of your life, the better.
What if they make you feel worse when you’re unhappy?
I mean, it looks like we agree that friends should, if not make you happy, at least make your life better in some way. I’m talking about the people who are making your life worse.
What if you don’t agree that they’re mistakes?
ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I totally agree with your whole position. This isn’t a score keeping exercise. When you spend time with someone, you should feel happy. Not necessarily all the time, but you shouldn’t feel drained, angry, sad, anxious, or self conscious the majority of the time. A significant part of your mental health comes from what you do and who you are with. People need to learn what they can handle and set healthy boundaries. I’ve cut out significant people from my life, people who made no effort to contribute to my happiness because they were only focused on their own for YEARS. I don’t have time for that. I’m glad I learned this in my younger years.
x00za@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
You are making my life worse so I’m just blocking you.
You obviously use people for your own reasons.