Comment on [deleted]
RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
- I’ve done and enjoyed stuff I think most people haven’t, and a slap is still faster than a kiss but I enjoy plain sex every day, and counting down I think that:
10 is people who want something that will kill them or someone else.
9 is people who want something that would land them in jail, or literal fetishists who get off on something that doesn’t include what most of us think of as sex, and only that.
8 is people who need something other than plain sex or can enjoy things that most of us find too gross
7 is people who identify mostly as their kink but can enjoy sex without it
Which would leave me at 6. I think way more people are in the 1-5 group than the 6-10 group, it’s not an even distribution. If you are asking where I’d land in the general population of women, that would probably be a different answer.
j4k3@lemmy.world 2 months ago
RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
So you would put more people as kinky because you think most are repressing very dark shit? Maybe, but seems like most people I know kind of don’t care that much about sex, if that makes sense. If it’s more like violence that just sometimes finds a sexual outlet, is that even kinky?
The 1-5 I’d put as:
1 is asexual, do not even feel desire at all.
2 the demisexual who can kinda enjoy it if you do but really are just doing it for someone else they wouldn’t bother for themselves.
3 the people who have to be in love to feel sexual desire, they can be ‘unlocked’, basically, it’s just part of love to them. May actually do more variety of stuff but only for someone else, really do not feel independent sexual desire but love and sex entwined.
4 I think of as the normal people who can enjoy sex as an activity, outside of a relationship just for physical pleasure but it doesn’t pull at them so hard, and they don’t want unusual stuff just sex. Probably don’t seek out sex specifically, but dates,
5 the normal people who are more adventurous, and who get frustrated sooner, have a more active sex drive and will seek out sex partners, will go outside their comfort zone if a partner suggests it. Sexually active normal people I don’t think of as kinky.
I just think probably a very large chunk of people just don’t prioritize sex or need anything very specific.
j4k3@lemmy.world 2 months ago
RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
Oh, so more like you are asking how actualized are your kinks? I think that is a good question. I spent a stupid long time waiting for my sexuality to evolve and turn into what I considered the ‘real’ adult woman sexuality, which involved getting off on taking charge. Like, even though my very earliest sexual fantasies were about being forced (not even sexually, necessarily) and never about anything except that power play stuff, I really truly thought I ought not want it, that it was some sort of unfinished or lazy thing. One day had a revelation that if any of my friends had some kink I’d be so accepting of them, never ever would I think they needed to change, so tried to give myself the same consideration, and am much more in alignment now. So in the scale of acceptance, maybe 8 or so. But I do not agree that everyone ‘vanilla’ is repressing hidden depths of perversity. I think many, probably most people really aren’t. Even those with a healthy sex drive. And no way does everyone have the same levels of general need, it took me 40 years to find a guy who runs as hot as me, get it every day now for about 15 years :)