Comment on Anon gets diagnosed
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 1 month agoYoooo, I’m AuDHD and my father was a raging narcissist (possibly psychopath). Additionally, I’m currently recovering from CPTSD after a hell of a lot of recent emotional abuse. I get the intense emotions feeling invalidated brings up. They’re legit and justified. As a survivor of that insane childhood and environment, it hurts to see others go through it because I know how bad it can be. Other people will never be able to understand it if they even believe you, so I’m sorry you went through that. You were just a kid, and no matter your reactions and behaviors at the time, it wasn’t your fault. It couldn’t have been your fault because it’s all you knew.
Sometimes though, people are only asking a question to gather information and clarify, not build a case against you, imply that you’re “wrong”, and make you look like the “crazy one”. I can’t speak on their behalf, but I think @candyman337@sh.itjust.works was just asking to understand better and didn’t mean anything against you by it. If that’s the case, then while your reaction makes complete sense, you might have better outcomes if you were to practice assessing situations and responding in a way that helps you reach your goals. This would give you more control over your life while compassionately validating yourself. It would also help you avoid the trap that narcissists lay when they trigger you to act out to make you look unhinged. So either way, unless you’re in immediate physical danger, staying calm and collected is the best move.
Also, my intention is merely to help you. I am not trying to insult you, imply fault, or make any judgement on your character. We all make mistakes sometimes (I still make them all the time), so it is completely understandable. All it means is that you’re trying, and that’s something to be proud of considering the history of what you’ve been through. I hope this comment helps you ❤️
addictedtochaos@lemm.ee 1 month ago
ha,** thar’s** an autistic answer me gusta
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 1 month ago
Really‽ Can you help me understand how? I’m not offended in anyway at all. I would just like to gain some awareness of how my communication is perceived by others, so I think it would be helpful for me to understand your perspective. I know that people can be reserved because they feel cautious with intercultural topics, so if you feel more comfortable, feel free to DM instead. Whatever works for you 🙂
addictedtochaos@lemm.ee 1 month ago
you are trying to be very neutral, you try to put your ego aside, you try to weigh every tiny aspect of the thing that bothers you, you seem very logical about it, you dont know how to prioritze in importan or not important, you DID assess the social situation expertly and correct, you bothered doing that in the first place, you seem big on truth and justice, you tried to help the dude out of compassion because you obviously had or have communication problems yourself,
you have been manipultaded because you are naive as shit, took you decades to learn to say no and set boundaries.
and bla bla bla
one tip: a no has to have consequences. really think about it, you have to follow up you no with action, its very important.
its not your communication per se that reminds ME of autism, but your way with dealing with situations.
thanks and take care, you are a cool dude (or dudette)
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 1 month ago
wowwwww~ thank you! I’m saving this comment.