Might be time to do a little research my friend.

The extremely oversimplified and short version of it is, a trauma mask is something that kicks in automatically to protect you. Autistic masking is a form of trauma masking and it is fully automatic and usually not known to the person that they are doing it. We learn the skills to get through most normal social situations, but beyond that there is little development. So we do all the neurotypical things to blend in and it works until people realize that it’s fake, and then they feel like they’ve been deceived and they don’t like us.

The fix for this is, as you go on a journey of self-discovery and learn how to stop masking you will present yourself as your authentic self, and attract the right kind of friends. It is a difficult journey, and especially because almost always we don’t realize that we’re doing it at all. I don’t know if you believe that your neurodivergent or autistic, but I also believe that there are other neurotypes that are able to trauma mask similarly to autistic masking. You may find good company in an autistic community because they will understand how that works. There’s also something oddly comforting knowing that you’re in a group of “weird” people and it will help you get your real self out.