Comment on If you feel like you're always being watched, can you really claim to have integrity?
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 2 months ago
This strikes me the same as saying, “No matter what I do or say to myself, I feel deeply in my soul that I am a bad/flawed person.”
Huckledebuck@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I think this is what i was looking for.
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 2 months ago
You’re welcome! I also experience that, so I noticed it intuitively. Lately, I’ve been trying to navigate it myself by realizing that sometimes I say lies just to prove it right. Like, I will confess to intentions I didn’t have or even behaviors I didn’t commit just so people can think that. Like, I might go somewhere with a friend and accidentally forget my wallet. When it comes time to pay for something sporadic, I admit that I left my wallet at home to not have to pay. Or, I might admit to stealing something I payed for. I don’t know why I do it, but I think it’s related to the belief that I’m a bad person and want others to think that because it would be validating. It also gives the impression that I’m sneaky, so it serves as a warning for people to not try shady crap with me. I know it’s not healthy and don’t like that I do that, so I’m trying to work on it. I think the root cause is the core belief that I’m bad and don’t deserve love. I’m freaking crazy lol…aww 🙁