Would it be a fair to say that youâve had limited experience in this area? I joke that Iâm a weirdo, but I donât think it would a stretch to say that many of us have responded in similar manners early in dating. I definitely have and I know plenty of people who have lost the plot over at least one person, especially in the face of losing them. I most certainly cringe at some of the ways I behaved, but I guess weâre all young and dumb at some point. (Thatâs not to say you are, but I definitely do not think that deep feelings and sometimes cognitive distortion always = bad thing that needs to be fixed.)
Comment on Daily discussion thread: đđ´đď¸ Friday, June 14, 2024
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
During my therapy session, the psych suggested I could have autism. She asked me what I think I have. I said I show traits of BPD, but Iâm not the one who went to school to diagnose these conditions. Iâve got no idea but I know something is not right. Even though I feel crazy and people perceive me as crazy, that doesnât mean I am. Sure Iâve felt and said and done some crazy things, but those things donât define me.
I am praying that therapy works. I donât want to feel things so deeply anymore and catastrophise. I donât ever want to have an emotional outburst like I did the week of the breakup again, to the point where I have to beg someone to love me and make them and their people think Iâm a complete psycho. I donât think it was a normal reaction to keep messaging him even though he wasnât responding. At the same time, I have to forgive myself and vow to never do that again.
Llabyrinthine@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Absolutely :)
melbaboutown@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Being manipulated often makes you look and feel crazy, as does dealing with arseholes. Sounds like you may have been coping with both.
Therapy is a good idea but have you also considered trying out some hobbies that regularly put you around other people in a low pressure environment? The goal isnât to âmake friendsâ. Just pick one or two activities youâre curious to try and turn up regularly. After a while theyâll recognise you and be low key friendly, but more than that itâll be a bit of a break in your day where youâre absorbed in something pleasant.
Note - youâre not trying to be besties or find a man. Youâre pursuing interests with the pleasant side effect of cultivating hobby acquaintances. Donât give out your number. Donât be upset if you donât hang out with these people outside of the activity, this is fine. Donât be discouraged if it takes a while to see benefits. If itâs boring or people are behaving in catty/creepy ways, donât be afraid to bounce to a new one.
Ps. I donât recommend bars. There can tend to be a lot of unnecessary drama and while there are decent folk there are also lot of idiots and people who are just on the prowl.
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Yes, Iâm doing a community gardening project and just talk about life with people that I see once a week. Itâs helped me to remember I like being outside. Starting music lessons and joined a group fitness studio thatâs full of supportive and motivated people.
Getting back into reading and writing and realising that I like spending time alone.
Making space for a social activity with friends / family once a week. Next week Iâm doing a cooking class with some friends.
There is lots to look forward to!