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Comment on yay, no dunning kruger for me! hold up, oh no

EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

I don’t follow this at all.

My son is in the gifted program. He is also one of the most socially intelligent people I’ve ever met. Makes friends easily, is a natural leader, shows kindness and acceptance towards all people, and adults frequently comment to me how mature he is when interacting with them. He is well accepted by society and moves around in it with ease.

I also think you’re missing the point. Are you familiar with the dunning Kruger effect? It’s the idea that smart people are better at recognizing their own shortcomings because they are smart, and less intelligent people aren’t smart enough to realize all of their shortcomings.

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Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
Hi! Assuming that neurodivergent people can’t be socially intelligent is kind of offensive, neurodivergence is a wide spectrum and it manifests differently for everyone.

Also, just because someone seems good at something doesn’t mean it’s not a massive effort for them, read up about masking :)

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- EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  You made the comment that society hates neurodivergent people. It was you they implied that they can’t fit in, not me. I just pointed out that my kid is gifted (according to you, neurodivergent) and that he is also socially intelligent and fits in quite well.
  
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- Restaldt@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  This. Especially the second half.
  
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SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

shows kindness and acceptance towards all people, and adults frequently comment to me how mature he is when interacting with them

None of this is rare for people on the spectrum.

Makes friends easily, is a natural leader

Contrary to popular belief, autistic people don’t have trouble to make friends on a vacuum, they have communication problems with non-autistic people. If your kid is on the gifted program…

Don’t take any of this as offense. I’m autistic and I’m finding my way to thrive in life. It just would have been easier if I had been given the appropriate resources instead of being discriminated against.

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- EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  
  None of this is rare for people on the spectrum.
  
  As I said to the other poster, it’s not me who said this but them who implied it. They were the one who said society hates neurodivergent people. I’m pointing out that my supposed neurodivergent (why isn’t addressing their claim that only neurodivergent people can be gifted?) child is very socially competent and well accepted by society
  
  That being said, this kid is not neurodivergent. My other one, definitely. Smart and sociable, but ADHD.
  
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  - SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    I was just mostly addressing the fact that none of the reasons for which you claim one of your kids isn’t neurodivergent is actually a valid refutation.
    
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    EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    At no point did I say my kid is or is not neurodivergent, until this last post. The poster I was responding to was wrong either because being gifted does not mean being neurodivergent, or because being neurodivergent is not hated by society.
    
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areyouevenreal@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
You can be mature, well liked, and have leadership and people skills and still be a neurodivergent. Neurodivergent is a very broad category nowadays. People with things like ADHD and ASPD often end up being CEOs or self-employed. They are in fact overrepresented in those kinds of jobs. Not every neurodivergent person is socially inept or immature, to think otherwise is frankly abelism.

Heck even I used to be considered mature and capable at one point. Could never get away from being considered weird though.

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- EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
  The top level commenter was the one who made the comment that being gifted makes you neurodivergent and the comment that society doesn’t like neurodivergent people. I simply pointed out that my kid meets their requirement of neurodivergent and is very socially adept. I made no generalization about what neurodivergent people are or are not like, that was the other commenter.
  
  I wonder why it’s me you challenged and not the other poster, when your criticism is similar to my criticism of them and doesn’t really apply to anything I said (although I can see why it was inferred).
  
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  - areyouevenreal@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    You are EatATaco, right?
    
    The top level commenter was the one who made the comment that being gifted makes you neurodivergent and the comment that society doesn’t like neurodivergent people.
    
    Yes and I generally don’t disagree with either of those points. Gifted people are much more likely to have things like ADHD, Autism, Anxiety, and so on. Even if this wasn’t true being gifted still counts as special educational needs at the minimum if not neurodivergent. It’s also true that society often treats neurodivergent people (even gifted ones) badly.
    
    I am challenging you because you essentially did the following: my son is gifted and can’t be neurodivergent because he is (proceeds to list a bunch of things that aren’t actually incompatible with neurodivergence).
    
    Do you get me?
    
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    EatATaco@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    
    my son is gifted and can’t be neurodivergent because he is (proceeds to list a bunch of things that aren’t actually incompatible with neurodivergence).
    
    Except I didn’t say this. The other poster made the claim that gifted means neurodivergent, and the neurodivergent are rejected by society. I pointed out that my kid is gifted and socially very accepted, challenging either of their claims.
    
    You can be liked by your peers and still be mistreated by society
    
    A fair disagreement, which certainly is also not true for my kid, but I think we might be wandering into pedantic territory, but either way I certainly did not say that my son can’t be neurodivergent because he does well socially.
    
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