Busybodies are definitely the problem. When someone directly asks me about my age I just kind of silently and blankly stare at them until they stop asking.

Bluntly, I’m here to work because that’s how I make money which I need to survive. You’re my co-workers, not my friends. I’ll be friendly, but let’s keep discussions work-related. My age, is not an important piece of information for anyone to do their job. My birthday is the same.

People tend to guess, but they’re met with the same silence and blank stare. If they start asking why I’m not answering, I just tell them that I’m not willing to discuss my personal information.

If they can’t respect my boundaries, that seems like a “them” problem. If try to make their problem into my problem, then it will become HR’s problem.

Personally, I don’t work in highly social environments anymore (I work in tech, almost entirely remote work), so generally I don’t have a lot of opportunities to have small talk with my co-workers. I’m fortunate like that right now. Previously, I would mainly deal with it by exercising my constitutionally protected right to silence. It’s amazing how effective it can be to give someone zero reaction to their question. You didn’t say no, nor give them a reason, nor did you give them an answer. It weirds them right out.

Now, I’ll add the caveat that I do not give any shits about what people think of my beyond my professional capabilities. I think the only times I’ve given a reaction to it is when someone asked why I wouldn’t entertain the questions about my age and birthday, and my go-to reply is that “I’m a very private person”. I don’t talk about family, friends, dating/love life, personal finances, the things I own, where I live… (It’s a long list) When I’m working. The only other topic I try to avoid at work is politics, since it’s so universally polarizing. Discussions about literally anything else, totally cool. My personal life and politics? I’ll be over there points working. Tyvm.