Comment on Notice for all moderators: please check the lemm.ee moderation policy
exocrinous@startrek.website 6 months agoI’ve never been toxic on Lemmy, and I’ve never violated the rules of an instance or community I was commenting on.
Comment on Notice for all moderators: please check the lemm.ee moderation policy
exocrinous@startrek.website 6 months agoI’ve never been toxic on Lemmy, and I’ve never violated the rules of an instance or community I was commenting on.
Kedly@lemm.ee 6 months ago
I’ve seen your modlog, it shows the banned messages. You are frequently toxic, and if the disorder you are talking about is narcissism, then yeah, that fucking sucks, but its REALLY HARD to have empathy for a dangerous asshole. If you dont have the ability to naturally have empathy, you need to learn how to fake and maintain it, because empathy is a two way street, and we arent going to give you any if you arent going to give us any
exocrinous@startrek.website 6 months ago
Sorry, but my empathy is very deeply impaired and there’s almost nothing I can do about it. The empathy I feel for others is very finely tuned, I have plenty of it, I always know and understand what other people are feeling. But the empathy I GET from others is nearly nothing. I receive an impaired sense of empathy from neurotypicals. Other people with NPD have been very kind to me, but neurotypicals make a choice not to put in the 10% extra effort it takes to feel empathy for a person with NPD. That’s why you think I’m toxic. You’re choosing not to feel empathy for me. You’re choosing not to understand the position I’m in, and so when I complain about a problem or try to fix it, you think I’m complaining about nothing.
The only thing I can do to resolve my problems with empathy is to campaign for greater recognition of the fact that we disabled people ARE people. Whether you choose to listen is something entirely out of my control.
Kedly@lemm.ee 6 months ago
I’m not choosing to withold empathy from you, I am recognising the very real danger that your disability poses to myself, the fact that I am acknowledging it is a disability is proof that I am cautiously showing you empathy. What I am saying though is that the instant you stop showing me empathy is the instant I shut off empathy for you, the difference (or similarity depending on how you look at it) is that it takes similar amounts of work and intention from me to shut off empathy, as it would take for you to turn on empathy. Neurotyps are only ever going to think about narcissism enough to cut empathy off to you if you’ve TOLD them you are a narcissist, or you have shown them so through your actions.
exocrinous@startrek.website 6 months ago
Using my sense of affective empathy, I see that you’re scared of me because I’m disabled. Using my sense of cognitive empathy, I make an educated guess that you’ve accepted a bunch of stereotypes about disabled people as true without seriously checking them. Putting myself in your shoes, I can only imagine I would take such a confrontational stance with someone just for how they were born, if I was scared absolutely shitless. Drawing on my own experience as a person living with NPD, and factoring in your lack of experience, I don’t believe at all what you’re saying about neurotypicals having empathy for people with NPD by default and making a conscious choice to turn it off. I’ve been in thousands of situations where a neurotypical interacted with a person living with NPD, involving thousands of neurotypicals. I only know of one time you’ve been in such a situation.