opening up is a two way street, friendships are made in such ways, i opened up to you once, remember? But yea im here anytime, i dont let anything allow me to truly judge ppl especially in a negative way, lemme put it this way ill keep your secrets if u keep mine but I understand if you aren’t comfortable doing such a thing
Spotted_Lady@wolfballs.com 2 years ago
I agree. In this case, the shell and the image I'm trying to portray are that important to me. I'm not concerned about the disclosure part, but the permanent subconscious reactions from then on, or others need to discuss things that I had the right to not be a part of my life in the first place. Implicit bias is a real thing no matter how much folks say they don't judge since they have no way to control it. The only way to not allow implicit bias to creep in is to never be told at all. It has nothing to do with distrusting individuals but distrusting human nature itself. And I'm including myself as I've been on the other side of this type of thing. It would take years of explanations to make things back to 90% of where they were, and for me, life is too short for that.
By proven precedent, I know that it will affect my reputation on a broader scale just by me mentioning to nearly anyone I'd interact with regularly, even if the other person never mentions it to another soul. It would be subconscious things like body language and treatment, even by the most "tolerant" of people, and actually, the more "tolerant" they are, the worse things will turn out. Even if one is seemingly okay, they WILL respond differently. The only way to get the responses I want and need is for others to not know. So back to "shell and image" and their importance.
And yes, I've told complete strangers with no ill effects, but the reason for no ill effects is that I knew I'd never encounter them again. It's the type of issue where "tolerance" causes the most damage. For a comparison, take a person born with IS. They met a "trans friend" and went out in public with them. The "trans friend" permanently destroyed the person's reputation as a born female in that town. That is what the IS person needed, to be treated 100% as a born female their entire life in all contexts. So one act of "kindness" destroyed what little bit of that they had received. The person blurted out in the restaurant, "We fooled you, didn't we! We really are men!!!"
To be clear, what I'm referencing is neither illegal nor pertains to sexuality.
goldenballs@wolfballs.com 2 years ago
You were born with two willies?
Spotted_Lady@wolfballs.com 2 years ago
Nah! LOL!