Welcome to Corpo Medical. Due to a late payment on your Prime credit card, I’m afraid we’ve temporarily suspended your healthcare coverage. Please drink a verification can and proceed to the nearest Corp facility where our friendly underpaid staff with fake service smiles will help you sign up for our exclusive 6 month intensive Stop Being Poor!™ program, for a small fee.

Disclaimer: side effects of the program may include a broken will, extreme fatigue, general hopelessness, and shattered dreams of a better future. Treatment for side effects not covered by Corpo Medical. Batteries not included. See our complimentary DRM-protected brochure for details.

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