Does anyone speak hairdresser?

No. Not even hairdressers speak hairdresserese. Like drummers, hairdressers/stylists/barbers will all appear as if all their attention is 100% on your description but they are thinking about something within their social circle (hence the real concern on their face). Like drummers, if there isn’t some kind of natural affinity between you and who cuts your hair, you will never get what you’re looking for.

That said, many clients haven’t the proverbial “faintest idea” of what actually works for their face shape and stylists, if they’re not suffering too strong of a hangover 🤣, do try to work within those confines.

You can only go in with your remarkably clear and detailed description —still open to interpretation as your hairstyle is not an airplane fuselage, with precise measurements and tolerances—in hand and still hope for the best. Apologies for the length of this reply.

DISCLAIMER: my ex-wife was and still is a fine hair stylist.