I went off to Coles because I’ve been sugar deprived and wanted some Malteser bunnies. Saw a young chick stacking the Easter shit and she asked me what I wanted and I told her and she picked a bag and I said “oh no not the kitkat they’re shit. All I see is a sea of purple”. I swear it just flew out. I thanked her and walked away then it dawned on me that perhaps she was a Cadbury rep and that’s why she was wearing purple. Oops.

Anyway “WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY MALTESER BUNNIES COLES? I ASK 3 DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND THEY SENT ME TO THE PURPLE. SOMEONE WILL GET HURT”.