Welcome to Murica, where you have the FREEDOM to receive subpar care when you need help the most.

I’m a fellow citizen of the bald eagle who also has dealt with psychological issues and the United States’s terrible health and mental care system. I read through your posts and saw you’re thinking of ending it. I don’t know your situation, but I’ve been somewhere similar. I have an incurable, chronic, progressive health condition that causes some disability and just hurts like a motherfucker. Not looking for sympathy, just explaining.

I was dead set on ending it because I couldn’t imagine going through life always in pain, being a burden to my spouse, family, and friends, and just being a big overall sad sack like I was. Obviously I didn’t. I got help and worked through my giant pile of issues and I’m glad I did. I think about how I was then and my life now with my wife and friends and my stupid, silly cats and I always start crying because I love all of them and everything so much and I was so close to giving all of this away.

I agree with you 100% - everyone should have bodily autonomy, including the right to end your life as you see fit. Just give it a lot of thought. It’s fucking morbid, but what kept me going for the first few weeks is that I could always kill myself later. I didn’t need to make a decision then, I could always make a decision later if trying to make things better was as impossible as it seemed. It was a ton of work and it really sucked sometimes but it got better. Even when things regressed hard, I kept looking for ways to keep improving because at the heart of it, I really didn’t want to die, I just couldn’t imagine living, so I worked on making a life that I could believe in.

No matter what, don’t look at this as a failing. People like us can have a certain strength and appreciation for life that others who haven’t had to deal with this don’t understand. If you need to talk with someone who at least might get it, I’m here.