Outwitting is such a wicked motivation. I had that with drinking and I was fucking good at it. I made it a challenge to consume as much alcohol as I can without people noticing and they really didn’t notice. I was drunk at AA meetings more often than not. I took driving lessons drunk, was drunk in university and at jobs, around friends and family - people never noticed, even when I had a 3.5 promille blood alcohol level. Guess you can guess that all of this didn’t end well and I had to stop drinking eventually. Still, only people I told know how bad it had actually been. I hadn’t been sober in years.