There could be a variety of reasons for this behavior…

• She is uncomfortable because she doesn’t know how to comfort you
• She is avoiding her own trauma triggers
• She is ADHD or Autistic and doesn’t understand what’s expected of her in those moments
• She is not looking for a partner and only wants a relationship that’s “fun”
• She is callous and doesn’t care to put in the effort to support a partner

But here’s the thing… the root cause is not important (yet)

If your partner is unwilling or unable to support you, that’s not a good partner for you. That doesn’t make her a bad person necessarily…she may not be capable of dealing with everything you’re going through. But even if that’s the case then she still might not be the right partner for you.

I recommend trying to get her to focus on you before having your next conversation about this. Don’t start talking about the problem until her phone is away and she’s making eye contact. Don’t do it over text.

If she can’t do that much, then it is probably time to move on. And if she listens and ignores you…it’s probably time to move one.

Communication is hard. And it’s the most important thing in relationships.

Good luck!