Then you got dumbasses like me that can’t tell you’re trying to flirt with me and aren’t actually really interested in my boots. Like hey thanks you’re super hot - and now for a ten minute lecture on blake stitching techniques for platform soles!

I was at a show with some friends and wound up in a conversation with a girl I’ve had a crush on since I was a kid, which eventually escalated to her doing a full standing split against me with one leg wrapped around my neck while feeding me cherries by making me bite them off the stems while she was holding them in her mouth (gymnasts yo. Woof.) and I still managed to convince myself she was “just being nice”.