Comment on Why Grandma Why
MonkRome@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Tbf in some cultures its rude not to initially decline and say, “no its too much”, or imply your not worthy of that much.
Comment on Why Grandma Why
MonkRome@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Tbf in some cultures its rude not to initially decline and say, “no its too much”, or imply your not worthy of that much.
Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
That is vanity disguised as manners. It is one thing to show respect to present company. But to teach people that “no” means “make me take it”… that is a dangerous game.
kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Yes, but the problem is that it’s ingrained in culture, and most people are raised with that attitude, so if you raise your kid to act differently, you’re setting them up to be rude in the perception of others.
Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
True, just be aware that teaching the “polite refusal” custom may bring the “what is consent” discussion closer to necessity.
kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
I feel like discussing what consent is with your children is probably a must do, at some point, no matter what.
I don’t like the polite refusal custom, and call it out in good company, but it’s similar to tipping - it’s so ingrained in cultures that it’s hard to root out, and any attempts to do so can hurt good people.