You think words can be dehumanizing but not actions?

No, I think dehumanisation is a verb, it’s something someone does to another person. It’s something you’re doing, but you justify it when it’s something your victim also does. But that makes you no better than them - you’re both engaging in dehumanisation. The act is abhorrent no matter the excuse. And yet, you defend it, because you think your feelings are exceptional.