Your parents are emotionally immature, is what it basically comes down to. Try to reframe everything in light of this information and you can begin to heal, by building emotional maturity on your own in spite of them, and by discarding the false role-self(ves) they’ve imposed on you due to their inadequacies. That’s a very condensed, overly pithy way to put it all. These ideas need space to unfold, but I can’t write a lot at the moment.

That’s been my journey, and a lot of what I’ve been through echoes your struggles in the home. If you want a book that covers all of this with better clarity, I can recommend one that’s on Anna’s archive, free to download.