There’s some clear clues on which venues are happy ending parlors.

• Avoid places with completely curtained windows. At least the lobby area should be visible to the public.
• Seek out places that refer to “massage therapists”. Avoid “masseuse” or “massage parlor”.
• The “crystal healing” “sound bath” hippy dippy places might try to sell you mushrooms but they are less likely to grab your dick.
• Avoid cash only places, they are trying to hide paper trails. Even if you’re paying out of pocket, any place that accepts insurance isn’t offering a “secret menu” .
• Low stated prices might mean they get by on big handy-based tips. They’re cheap for a reason. Medium priced places are just charging for normal services.
• Strip malls in general seem to attract this business niche, too. I’m not sure why.

If you’re normally comfortable getting a massage naked, consider keeping your underwear on for your first visit with a new practitioner.