Comment on How to deal with people who obtusely miss your point on Lemmy?
Strider@lemmy.world 4 days agoYour answer kinda proves the point to me, meaning no disrespect.
The issue is we all are using the same words but neurotypical people rely heavily on reading and messaging between the lines, which we don’t do. This results in the so called double empathy problem where there’s a lot of issues in the communication.
Since 99% are usually neurotypical and 1% are autists, the norm is basically NT and we’re the ones who have to deal with this on a daily basis. And since the knowledge of autism is actually way outdated for many people who do not actively concern themselves with this (and even most professionals, sadly), often people think of the really disabled autists and not fully capable people that have a biologically different brain causing this.
This pushes the issue to a wholly different level on highly functioning autists, aka nothing seems different but the struggles are absolutely real and the misunderstandings are on completely different levels e.g. a valid harmless query from the Autist to assess a situation is interpreted as a vile attack on a NT.
Psychologically and socially it’s actually a highly interesting topic.
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Can you explain what i said and what point it proved? i have at least two options.
Strider@lemmy.world 3 days ago
You’ve lost me. And while I provided fundamentals with source I do not comprehend what this short statement is meaning nor trying to achieve but personal ‘winning’ on the internet.
As previously stated we have to manage our social resources tightly and this is where I exit.
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
You said, “your answer kind of proves the point to me.” I was asking what it was that I said and what point it proved.
I was worried maybe such a brief question would be interpreted as hostile, but you had assured me the atypical people, of which you claimed to be, don’t think that way, that it is is merely an annoying trait of NTs.
I’m starting to think that maybe you are over-interpreting autism into this context. Not that double-bind communication doesn’t exist (thank you for sharing that, btw), but on-line we do away with much of the bother of non-verbal communication (as well as the ability to easily skip over boring conversations and the ability to obliquely reference shit knowing SOMEONE is going to get it), so there is much more parity between NT and atypical people.
I say this as someone with over 1k/comments Lemmy a month after having been here two months, and after having done all my “socializing” on line all my life–but it usually amounts to just this, having a series of one-off conversations with strangers, and it’s the best I can do, socially.
Strider@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Hey, thanks for continuing. I have to say, you’re possibly right with overthinking. That’s what we do. And hence, we often jump around to the point of getting lost in our own line of thinking - the latter being exactly what happened.
I am now trying to read through the fragments and have a very hard time following myself. If we were sitting together it might be easier, doing this asynchronous is hard work. So thanks for putting up with that and your effort.
Let me do some jumping around mobile and desktop and see of I can follow up.
mirshafie@europe.pub 3 days ago
You made a weird connection to autism that was unrelated to the post. You were asked to clarify the connection, and gave the example that “neurotypicals” rely on “unclear” communication. The connection is still ambiguous, you did not provide evidence, and now you’re being an asshole.
Strider@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Thanks (honestly) for clearing that up.
See - that’s the issue. There is this inherent obvious connection on the op topic that you can’t see. And that’s fine, you’re NT. However I am not, hence you’re saying I am an asshole for not elaborating a point you can not understand. It’s literally beyond NT understanding.
As is many understanding of yours to ND. And when trying to go into this, I, or rather, we are the assholes. So of course we resign. There is this gap in understanding that I even linked and it’s still not enough.
So, there you go. I am sure it will not or never be enough. It’s just that on the opposite side you as a standin for NT are behaving like assholes, but both sides are literally incapable of getting some points across.
As said, still thanks for your answer. Be kind to people, you might not understand them. (unrelated to me)