Comment

Comment on Money doesn't solve everything, but it helps.

schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

Therapy, is like cars, a sign of a failed society. I don’t mean that the failure is that we don’t pay for therapy, the failure is that socially we have no way to deal with suffering other than to pay a separately trained and certified and regulated professional to deal with it, one-on-one.

We have forgotten how to support ourselves, we have forgotten how to support each other. The systems that used to support us–family, church, bowling leagues, clubs, work–have collapsed around us, leaving us all alone, and isolated, and depressed.

The idea that this societal collapse should be dealt with one-person-at-a-time at great cost is itself absolute madness.

source

Sort:hotnew top

BCsven@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
I live in an area of high Indian immigration. They typically have multi generational homes. They are often larger homes, since everyone can contribute to the mortgage.

But the main thing that stands out is the children always have family around, sometimes cousins live in the same house too. Isolation doesn’t seem to be an issue. There’s always support and task sharing, so parents aren’t burnt out at end of day struggling to parent.

Out of 1000s of homeless people I see in Vancouver, they are mostly white or indigenous, rare to see an Indian homeless person here.

And then there is the huge community they have, besises church/temple meeting, but meeting in parks daily.

I think we lost a lot of community and circles of support when we adopted the isolation type lifestyle of “modern” life.

source
- schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  You bet! Modern therapy was created to treat the problems of modern life after modern life destroyed all the systems that kept us socially and spiritually healthy.
  
  We’ve been abandoned by each other, so we look to “the state” to fix everything, but that’s extremely expensive. I remember being a social worker thinking, “You know what, just about every family I work with would be much better off with the money the state is paying for me to talk to them than for me to talk with them.”
  
  source
  - BCsven@lemmy.ca ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Oof that’s rough
    
    source
raze2012@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

we have no way to deal with suffering other than to pay a separately trained and certified and regulated professional to deal with it, one-on-one.

There are plenty of ways. The issue is that some are individualistic and some are systematic. A therapist cannot fix a systematic issue; it cannot get you a better job, but maybe it can get you in a mindset to try and improve youself to get a better job (despite the job market being shit). It can’t build third places but it can prod you to look for the little pockets where some still remain.

It’s not a magic bullet. But sometimes a little perspective can help you improve your life.

source
- schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  
  A therapist cannot fix a systematic issue; it cannot get you a better job, but maybe it can get you in a mindset to try and improve youself to get a better job (despite the job market being shit).
  
  This is an interesting example of therapists try to fit their practice into solving every problem there is.
  
  If you can’t get a better job, maybe your money and time would be better spent with a job coach or resume services than a therapist?
  
  Instead, a therapist can make some vague promise of some emotional or mental shift that will somehow make a difference when months or years of job searching have not? Doesn’t that seem kind of bogus to you?
  
  I mean, I get it, I can see how it MIGHT work, but I also see it being a much more lucrative vector for absolute fraud.
  
  source
  - raze2012@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    
    If you can’t get a better job, maybe your money and time would be better spent with a job coach or resume services than a therapist?
    
    I have considered it, yes. In a better market, if I was struggling it may in fact be worth it just to get a few weeks of guidance on how to redirect my career. It’s also less ambiguous because many people’s goals are met when they can get a job or get that promotion or whatever.
    
    However, reality can set in very quickly when I go to a temp job service and even they (which can generally find an odd job for you in a few weeks ) just outright say “yeah, there’s not much out there right now”. That’s the judement between “you need professional help” and “this didn’t work. job coaches are a scam!”. Job coaches aren’t magicians that pull labor out of a hat.
    
    Instead, a therapist can make some vague promise of some emotional or mental shift that will somehow make a difference when months or years of job searching have not? Doesn’t that seem kind of bogus to you?
    
    Not a surprise to me. a job is pretty obvious. your mind isn’t. And it’s biased towards yourself as well. I’d hope we’d advanced enough to start to take aspects of the mind like stress seriously. But at the same time we still have a lot to learn and a lot of old prejudice to overcome.
    
    The main goal of a mental health coach is to at least help you look outside yourself. Sometimes the job market is bad and it’s not your fault even if you blame yourself for some random decision years ago. Sometimes it is in fact all your fault and they help you realize you’ve been actively cock-blocking yourself out of success over several opportunities you had to get a job. Because you’re depressed.
    
    The goal of a job coach doesn’t care how you feel as long as you got your goal done. The goal of a mental health coach is to remove those bigger blockers. And that doesn’t always feel good. Confronting your demons rarely does.
    
    I also see it being a much more lucrative vector for absolute fraud.
    
    That’s why therapists need to be licensed, while a job coach doesn’t. Licensed don’t guarantee competency, let alone compatibility. But it mitigates the risk of someone pretending to be a voice of authority and telling you to kill yourself for the greater good.
    
    source
    schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    The job of any professional is to convince you to give them money. There are valid and invalid way to do that. In my experience, a lot of therapists are more than willing to overpromise results.
    
    I’ll give you an example: one therapist said she was CONVINCED she could fix me in a limited time frame; but before we got to the end of that time frame, she said she might have to discontinue therapy with me because she didn´t like my teasing. She brought up with her supervisor and everything and they decided that she’d had enough and she had to tell me: the teasing HAS to stop, or she would be discontinuing the therapy. The thing is, though, that when I teased her she would always LAUGH and say, “Oh, stop! You’re killing me here!” I would have immediately stopped if I’d known she wasn’t enjoying it. And the first time she seriously brings it up, it came with a threat of termination and this was the best course of action she came up with another professional. I quit the next session because I did not feel safe with her anymore.
    
    And I know what you’re going to say (well, one thing you MIGHT say): that’s obviously a bad therapist and that does not represent every therapist! Yes, those things are true, but it’s kind of like an ACAB situation. What does it say about therapy as a profession that obviously bad therapist like her continue to practice, year after year after year?
    
    She’s not alone. I’ve run into much worse therapists than her, people that showed their true colors almost immediately. One made me feel like I´d walked onto the Dr. Phil show in my first session! These people are licensed professionals who are bad at their jobs and making a living seeing clients every day for years and years and years.
    
    Go look up your state’s licensing cases. See how many licenses are sanctioned for being “obviously bad therapists.” No, what you’re much more likely to find is people who has sex with their clients, or who had dual relationships with clients. Short of that, you can be as terrible a therapist as long as you can keep getting clients.
    
    That tells me that professionalization of therapy isn’t being done to help and protect clients, but to help and protect therapists.
    
    source
    -> View More Comments