Went to court. Judge ruled in my favor. In the meantime I had contacted the Consumer Protection Bureau (US). Back when they had teeth and funding. BofA must have had a whole department that dealt with CPB because that shit got resolved quick. Took more than two months and around $1500 to get it cleaned up.

My credit is locked at all three agencies now. Highly recommend everyone do it. The fact it isn’t locked by default is asenine.