Women in movies: “Going to do a full blown date prep montage, complete with song and dance number, where I transform from mousy librarian to runway model over the course of 15 minutes”

Women in real life: “Going to throw on a top and some jeans, half watch a Netflix special about serial killers while I curl my hair, then down a mug of hard liquor to build up the courage to look a guy I’ve got a crush on straight in the eyes.”