I literally had a friend, that wanted to suck my schlong. But not because he was gay, but he loved dicks and hated vaginas. He swore he was straight, but women just repelled him sexually. Men too, but dicks are awesome, and visually pleasing and…

When I tried to convince him that I’m flattered but don’t like wieners at all, he was pissed at me for implying that would be gay. Which it was not. According to him. He then didn’t want to my friend anymore, because being told to be gay would be super mean.

Well…the cognitive dissonance in some people is very colorful and vivid.