when I search Reddit or read comments online, I often see people joking or implying that Asian women prefer white men over Black men, or that Black men should not even bother. Sometimes it feels like there is a quiet racial hierarchy being reinforced, where whiteness is treated as the safest or most accepted option, and Black men are treated as undesirable, threatening, or socially costly.

Yes, there is still a racial hierarchy being socially reinforce, it is getting weaker, but slowly. The average society moves slowly, seeing black people getting better represented everywhere every year does not mean the previous centuries of racism are over. Intimate relationships will probably be one of the last things to equalize because it is the furthest away from rationality. So we sadly still need strong minded and/or strongly in love “pioneers” defying social conventions and take the emotional risks to help make this aspect of racism wash away.