I guess a good Hawaiian isn’t something you’d expect to find in the United Kingdom.

Hawaii is at least as far from me as I am from the United Kingdom, but I have had a good Hawaiian. I hope that one day, everyone who hasn’t, can experience that just once.

This isn’t an argument for pineapple on pizza because pizza isn’t a monolithic thing. Sometimes I want a veggie pizza. Sometimes I want meat lover’s. Sometimes Hawaiian. Sometimes pepperoni & jalapeno. Sometimes sausage, bell pepper, and onion. Sometimes even BBQ — that’s chicken breast, onion, and bacon, with BBQ sauce instead of marinara. Like a Hawaiian, it isn’t traditional pizza, but it works.

I would hold no value for a pizza place that completely refuses to do pineapple. Rather, I would hold value for the pizza place that can change your mind about just about any topping (I stipulate that because no pizza place will ever convince me to eat shrimp on pizza, not because it can’t be good, but because I’m allergic to shrimp so that’s automatically a no go). That said, if you’re ever in the part of the US state of California where everyone smokes pot and thick red trees extend up into the clouds and beyond (the northern half), look up a chain called Round Table. They have a “Polynesian” pizza with pineapple that is something else. Sweet, spicy, and delicious.