All these other shit-for-brains got it wrong. Here’s what you do:

1. Find a woman your own age, pervert
2. Have her go through EXTENSIVE cosmetic surgery to become a replica of your current wife
3. Have newbie secretly follow your wife until she learns every habit, nuance, and personality trait
4. I’ll leave the uglier details of this step to your own imagination
5. Pretend newbie has been your appropriately aged wife the whole time
6. Send us some feet pics of those juicy things you’ve got tucked away in your socks (this step is optional)