Wow! This brings back memories… It was a Soul Crusher: A primitive technology used to commune with the dead over long distances. I’ll explain…

These devices used the “Afterlife Toll” (AT) command set, invented by someone named “Hayes” which I believe was just a nickname or mistranslation of Hades. With the correct invocation, you could whisper into the great beyond. Here’s an example:

ATDT 6665551234

Translated: “Afterlife Toll, Death Touch <helliphone number>”. After this invocation, the user would hear the pleasant sound of souls being crushed in order to make the afterlife connection.

Of course—due to the popularity of such devices—crushing souls over long distances could get expensive so a number of Incorporeal Service Providers (ISP) sprang up to make it cheaper and easier than ever to crush souls from anywhere.

Cool fact: This is where the term, “soul crushing machines” comes from! These days, soul crushing is fully automated and far beyond the measure of Beings Per Seance (BPS). Nearly every computer is shipped with an ethernet connection and practically everyone is walking around with devices that can commune over WIFI (Wailing Incorporeal Fidelity).

In fact, our Incorporeal Technology (IT) is so advanced, you can have a soul crushing experience from anywhere in the world at all hours of the day, every day!