Comment on Anon is terminally lonely

• TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Zero expectations leads to rotting if you’re down already.

  “Expectations” are different from “goals”. The fastest way not to be happy is to treat happiness as an expectation.

  source

  • MalReynolds@slrpnk.net ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Happiness is fundamentally transitory and unsuitable for a goal, although setting up the circumstances for it to occur regularly isn’t a bad idea. Being at peace, satisfied, not bored, and others relevant to you are much more consistent and achievable, and you only need to rely on yourself to do so (happiness is often circumstantial).

    source

    • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Happiness is fundamentally transitory and unsuitable for a goal

      Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply “don’t treat happiness as an expectation; treat it as a goal!”, because like you said, it’s fundamentally incompatible with what a goal is. I like to consider the SMART criteria, and even though it fails all of them (except ‘T’ if you insist you have a deadline to be happy), it fails ‘A’ the hardest, because it’s literally defined by how it’s oriented toward taking an action. If you think your goal is “I will be happy by doing X today”, then – as long as you think you can do X and have a plan – what you actually have is the goal “I will do X today” with the faulty, tacked-on expectation of “and that will make me feel happy”.

      source
  • 5715@feddit.org ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Call me pedantic, but that’s not zero expectations. I 100% agree on the happiness expectations to depression pipeline, but zero expectations to me is expecting a ROI of 0, that is expecting any effort to be wasteful.

    source

    • reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      expectations / reality

      source