Women police the patriarchy plenty.

My experience from square straight married life is that women want men in general to be gentle and kind and whatnot, but they want their own husband to be capable of violence.

At least that was my wife, there were aspects of toxic masculinity that she absolutely encouraged.

Like, one time I got on a busy train with her and another guy got scared of me and left his seat. She sat down and smiled and patted my hand and said “that’s respect right there baby”

And I totally understand the desire to have sex with a big strong not too bright dominant guy, trust me I get it.

It’s not just SOs, mothers often play a huge part in conditioning men for the patriarchy, calling them little soldiers, telling them not to cry, to fight back at the bully at school, etc.