Albert Einstein, an Australian living in the Tasmanian outback, splits the atom with a chisel in an attempt to carbonate beer. He also invents the electric guitar, rock and roll music, and his beer carbonation device is converted into a bomb by Marie Curie’s boyfriend. Albert Einstein takes a steam boat to France and then diffuses the bomb with the literal power of rock and roll, saving Paris and falling in love with Curie.

This was the opening paragraph of an essay I wrote for my European History class. I did not get a very good grade.