They look like she is old but very safe and resting. That’s lovely. And you were feeling bad about shutting down and powering through - that is normal. Our brains protect us from the shock and grief by shutting down. Then slowly letting out the feelings as you get to a safe place. It deeply hurts so very much as the shock ends and the feelings start getting felt again - like 1000 little cuts in different ways. But that’s love. It’s aweful and sad and wonderful. One day it settles and all the bad good love and everything merge together and the sharp edges soften. Promise.

Remember you are the animal you need to care for now. Feed her, rest her, get her some sun. 💙