Comment on hmm
LemmysMum@lemmy.world 11 months agoAny you’re right, we all have our failings. Mine is an incapacity to enjoy seeing people afflicted by their mental anguish when I feel like adjusting their perspective to fit mine is what gives me the ability to control myself.
This results in me being unable to sympathise with those people despite empathising with them because it makes me feel like they’re actively rejecting one of those tools that will get them where they need to be.
Like being thrown a rope when you’re stuck in the well, if you reject the rope what is the person up top supposed to think?
LillyPip@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
I’d perhaps liken it more to jumping in the water to save someone who’s drowning.
You’re trying to help them and they should logically know that, but their instinct drives them to grab you everywhere and act like an anchor, drowning you both.
No matter how rational a person is, emotion and subconscious reactions can override all of that. That’s not really a failing as it’s the basis for empathy, but those same subconscious reactions can form a feedback loop that’s very difficult to escape.
LemmysMum@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Thank you, that’s an anology I can work with.
I wish that was the case. I’m diagnosed as high functioning autistic presenting, 100% autism free, but my natural capacity for logic obliterated my emotional development. I can and do functionally parse all my emotional thought through logic. This is my weakness and my strength.
I’m not unaware that my approaches are often mistaken for dismissal or ignorance of people’s feelings, because they are, but they’re also the tools that emotional people need to temper their emotions.
LillyPip@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Dude, 100% same. I spent the better part of two decades developing my capacity for empathy (it was a core requirement in my chosen career), and I still have issues truly relating on an individual level.
Humans are messy, incoherent, illogical creatures. You and I are, too, whether or not we want to see it. The pitfall we face is our propensity to extrapolate our personal experience to others where that just doesn’t work. We want things to make sense, and we think our solution should just work, but people aren’t like coins with binary answers. They’re more like a fistful of dice made of slime and bees with no numbers on their faces.
We make you want to give up because we’re confusing and painful. Eventually you can figure out patterns, though they’ll change and frustrate you.
Sorry for the mini-rant. I’ve enjoyed our conversation.
LemmysMum@lemmy.world 11 months ago
No need to apologise, the opportunity to feel comprehended has been far more valuable than you might realise.
I might have trouble relating and connecting on an emotional level but my belligerence to be understood is limitless. Gets me in trouble because most people feel instead of comprehend and that’s just not logical.
One of the feelings I hate the most is the feeling you get when you know someone agrees with you they just lack the capacity to know why. It’s the bane of my existance.
Lol. Guess it’s my turn to apologise for the rant.