Coming from a similar background, just know, you deserve your own security, including mentally. You did nothing wrong. You are enough. And most importantly, the good times don’t mean the bad abusive times are okay. Abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional, mental, and lots of blame, shame, and neglect can be abuse.

Don’t let it turn into a bad habit where you constantly feel the need to cling to someone. The abuse and neglect and confusion can make relationships difficult, and may cause you to overthink them later in life and worry about things that harm your future relationships.

Try to center yourself and meditate on how you feel, allow your thoughts time they need to process, and try to truly feel how your body feels.

Wish you the best. Hang in there.