Me too, I think. I mean she keeps telling me that and acting like it, but I guess I have PTSD or something because we’re a year in and on the inside I can’t convince myself of it.
I feel like she’s either lying or doesn’t understand herself well enough to know how she’ll react if I really show all my feelings. Especially since there are conflicting signals. For example she says she likes that I make her feel safe. Well, will she still feel safe if she knows how vulnerable I am? I just can’t bring myself to really believe it, after so many relationships teaching me the opposite.
I had the exact same problem at the beginning and I solved it by accident. A couple of months ago we went to the movies and watched Guardians of the Galaxy 3 (stupid movie, do not recommend). So I started crying when
Spoiler
that fucking cyborg rabbit died.
The dam broke and it went on for like 15 minutes. I already thought to myself that this is it. This is the beginning of the end for this relationship. But instead of getting punished for any sign of vulnerability, she took my hand when she noticed and squeezed it. She whispered that it’s ok. Our relationship completely changed over night, I changed over night, I found out what mutual love actually means, that every single relationship before that was anything BUT normal and kind of a toxic waste of my time. In my mid fucking 30s.
I understand that this is kind of a all-in situation. Eighter wreck your shit forever or change your life for the better forever. So thats horrifying. But at least you have the chance to finally quell your fears?
tias@discuss.tchncs.de 1 year ago
Me too, I think. I mean she keeps telling me that and acting like it, but I guess I have PTSD or something because we’re a year in and on the inside I can’t convince myself of it.
I feel like she’s either lying or doesn’t understand herself well enough to know how she’ll react if I really show all my feelings. Especially since there are conflicting signals. For example she says she likes that I make her feel safe. Well, will she still feel safe if she knows how vulnerable I am? I just can’t bring myself to really believe it, after so many relationships teaching me the opposite.
rustyfish@lemmy.world 1 year ago
I had the exact same problem at the beginning and I solved it by accident. A couple of months ago we went to the movies and watched Guardians of the Galaxy 3 (stupid movie, do not recommend). So I started crying when
Spoiler
that fucking cyborg rabbit died.
The dam broke and it went on for like 15 minutes. I already thought to myself that this is it. This is the beginning of the end for this relationship. But instead of getting punished for any sign of vulnerability, she took my hand when she noticed and squeezed it. She whispered that it’s ok. Our relationship completely changed over night, I changed over night, I found out what mutual love actually means, that every single relationship before that was anything BUT normal and kind of a toxic waste of my time. In my mid fucking 30s.
I understand that this is kind of a all-in situation. Eighter wreck your shit forever or change your life for the better forever. So thats horrifying. But at least you have the chance to finally quell your fears?