Same here.

‘The thing isn’t the thing’, really resonated with me.

‘We’re fighting to be connected, and when we do feel connected, the thing doesn’t feel so important anymore’

I used to call it “fighting to fuck” because in some relationships I’ve had we would fight just to feel connected it seemed like. There would be this huge blow up and the more intense the fight the more intense the,… —fuck. All very seemingly toxic. Somewhat makes more sense now that it has been put in this light.

Also— we need a good ‘relationships’ community here on Lemmy. Can’t seem to find ones like there were on reddit.