Comment on How to separate self-worth from Achievements and External Validation?
Artisian@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I think you could try to find a different, new source of self worth to replace it with. It is probably hard to remove something from your concept of ‘self-worth’ if there isn’t anything to replace it with. Adding things to the source also gives you something to focus on/say when you’re next feeling bad about (the lack of) external reward/validation. There are many options, I’ll try to list a few I’ve heard. Perhaps some sound better/easier/more true than others:
- People are intrinsically worthwhile and valuable. (Some religions assert this directly.)
- The things you will do in the future. (Seems like toddlers have a lot of self-worth sometimes. I like to imagine this is the source.)
- The things you want to do.
- Being able to do things that make you happy. (Can be hedonism.)
- The things you will never do. (Negative utilitarian, in some sense. You have worth for not being harmful.)
- Your relationships with others. (Pets count!)
- The validation and achievements that your communities/tribes have earned.
- The virtues you have developed. (Stoic.)
- The difficult things you have survived.
- You do things in a way that would, statistically, result in achievements and validation. You should value yourself for the expected value, rather than the specifics of today.
pugnaciousfarter@literature.cafe 1 week ago
I want to go to sleep excited for the next day. I used to be motivated by my goals. But goals are hard to achieve and I haven’t felt happy in the past after reaching some of my goals.
I want to enjoy being me without having to work for it.
Thanks for your reply.