Comment on Was this guy at the store judging me?

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foggy@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

No, when push comes to shove, it is an option.

I have a beautiful, beautiful example, too.

I was visiting Burlington, Vermont to see a friend in the summer of 2011. I had tried some local burritos and drank at local breweries, and I was hungover. My friend and I rode bikes in the bike path.

Suddenly, I had to poop. And not just poop. I drank too much on burritos poop. We rode to the nearest bathroom along the path. There were two bathrooms, a male and female, solo toilet with locking door. Frustratingly, I ended up 2 paces behind so e other guy headed for the bathroom. I was legit clenching to avoid shitting my pants.

Women’s room is open…

Welp, better than my pants or the bushes. And away I shit, splattering the bowl with comical reverberations.

I’m cleaning up, and I get a knock. Uh oh. The jig is up.

I exit to find a young 29-somethibg girl. Mortified. Disgusted. Judging

“What the fuck is a man doing coming out of the women’s bathroom?! She asked loudly so as to draw attention.”

“Well, It was an emergency, an-”

“I don’t care if–”

Now normally, I’m not the kind of person to loudmouth over a Karen, but ooh boy. Something clicked.

-I don’t live here

-she has to use the bathroom

-i don’t

-it smells awful in there, and the seat is nice and toasty

So I interrupt “Ma’am I do not care. Have fun smelling my shit.”

I turned, leaving her stunned, and left to meet my friend to continue our lovely ride down the bike path.

My point is most of life’s uncomfortable situations are this moment in some way of another. Just remember that you don’t have to shit, and the seat is warm.

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