Comment on Anon plays GTA V

• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  More or less, do you live your life as you, directly, or do you…

  …more like, live your life in 3rd person, in your own head, as a kind of narrator or detwched observer/commentator of what ‘you’ are actually doing?

  This is very rough and far from exact, but maybe that is a way of phrasing it that makes sense?

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I imagine myself as someone else. Or sometimes a better version of myself. I imagine i’m not alone as I have only ever really been alone. I’m very aware it’s not real. It never felt real enough anyway. I’m guessing that’s not the same thing? It’s not all the time, but fairly often.

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Yeah that… does sound sort of in the same ballpark.

      I would say that is… potentially concerning, but I am not qualified to make a diagnosis.

      You being aware that you are doing the sort of … 3rd personing of yourself… that does not mean you are not depersonalizing, not derealizing.

      A big difference between depersonalizing yourself and… other types of mental disorders, is that in most other vaguely similar mental disorders, the person does not realize they are doing it.

      So the fact that you are aware, I would think that would actually narrow it down more precisely to being depersonalization.

      The main thing is a sense of identity so weak that you basically just invent another one on top of it, if that makes sense, that just sort of observes the first identity.

      ---

      On a less clinical note, I am genuienly sorry to hear that and would offer you a hug =(

      I have been quite depressed before, and … yeah, hug.

      It sounds like you’ve been through a lot of trauma.

      For what its worth, you are still here, and some layer or level of you is still typing out your messages, so… you are still here.

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      • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’m not really sure what to say. I’ll say I know who I am, I know what I want, and I have no issue with being able to tell fantasy and reality apart. It was always an escape for me. As for trauma, I think I always dismissed it because I knew people who had it way, way worse and I didn’t think it was even a fair comparison. I am very depressed and the situation in my country has only made that worse. For me, the loneliness is probably the worst part. I don’t have any friends and I don’t really connect with my family. I am however here as you said, and I am aware of who I am. I don’t say any of this because I want anyone to feel sorry for me, It just helps me understand myself and the world better. Thank you.

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