I’m unsure weather to recommend it because it sometimes seems like a kill-or-cure solution, but maybe read into philosophical nihilism. (Not the popular notion of nihilism, which is as connected to philosophical nihilism as popular conceptions of anarchy are to philosophical concepts of anarchy, which is to say almost not at all. Also, read the books, don’t try to watch youtuber attempts to interpret them.) Nietzsche and Henri Bergson are, for the most part, said to be approachable reading for a competent reader.